12 Tricky Wedding Etiquette Questions, Answered

If you’re a bride-to-be, then you don’t need us to tell you that there are some serious wedding etiquette questions that require very gentle handling. Who gets a plus one? Do you have to ask your sister-in-law to be to be the MOH? Can you invite guests to the bridal shower who are not invited to the wedding?

You want your wedding, and everything leading up to it to be near perfection.  And we know that you want your guests to remember your special day in a beautiful way.  To ensure your wedding day goes exactly the way you want it to, we rounded up 12 of the most common questions from brides to bring the most tactful solutions to your big wedding etiquette dilemmas.

Keep reading for the answers to your burning wedding questions. Plus check out our collection of wedding gowns for your pre-wedding festivities.

Can I Have Someone Besides My Father Walk Me Down The Aisle?


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BHLDN Meriden Dress ($395)

Traditionally speaking, fathers walk their daughters down the aisle. But, that doesn’t always need to be the case.  Personally, my father passed away years ago so I will need to have another loved one walk me down the aisle. The choice is really yours–but be sure to choose an individual who is significant to you.

Who Lifts My Veil? 


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BHLDN Bernice Headband ($60)

Veil styles these days are vary from short to long.  Assuming you have gone the classic route, you have two choices:  your veil can either be lifted by your father (or father-figure) when he is uncovering you to the groom or by the groom himself before he goes in for the smooch.

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Is There A Respectable Way To Kiss The Groom During The Ceremony? 


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Anthropologie Cece Wedding Guest Dress ($995)

We can’t tell you how to kiss your hubby, although the rule of thumb is to mix passion and moderation into a kiss that lasts no more than roughly ten seconds.  Be sure to leave out tongue because–well, the answer is obvious. The key is to let the kiss flow naturally so that it doesn’t appear too staged while being aware that all eyes are centered on you and the groom.

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Clocolor Wedding Garters with Bowknot Ivory ($17.99) ($4.42)

Who Hosts The Bridal Shower? Do My Shower Guests Need To Be On The Wedding Guest List?


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BHLDN Topeka Dress ($350)

The bridal shower can be hosted by your bridesmaids, mother, or even the mother of the groom.  There aren’t many rigid, unbreakable rules in wedding etiquette, although it is common sense to invite the guests of your bridal shower to the wedding.  The only exception is if you have a small, intimate destination wedding that doesn’t include your entire social circle and that needs to be disclosed thoroughly so that hurt feelings can be avoided.

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Who Am I Supposed To Invite To The Rehearsal Dinner? 


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BHLDN Winchester Dress ($375)

Like many of the other matters, the answer to this question is dependent on your own preferences.   Essentially, the answer to this question has a lot to do with your budget and just how far you can stretch it for this pre-wedding event.  If you really can’t imagine closing off your rehearsal dinner festivities from all of your wedding guests,  you have the option of being creative and hosting an after-party at a fun bar post rehearsal dinner.  This way, you can have everyone take part in the celebration without emptying your pockets via an overly extravagant rehearsal dinner.

How Can I Address Guests Who Request Bringing Along People Who Aren’t Invited?


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BHLDN Adeline Dress ($290)

This can make for a sticky situation when not taken care of diligently and ever-so carefully.  Whether you like it or not, a potentially uncomfortable conversation may ensue between yourself and the guest in question.  It is smart to mention viable reasons for why you cannot accommodate additional guests (venue capacity or budget constraints).  Whatever you do, don’t be lenient on this matter because that may result in an increasing number of guests requesting to bring their own posse.

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Hortense B. Hewitt Mr. and Mrs. Can Coolers Gift Set ($14.99) ($8.78)

Who Gets A Plus-One?


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BHLDN Medallion Gown ($780)

Start by taking a look at your overall guest list and its composition.  If you notice that it is composed of primarily married couples, then it is a fair idea to allow your single guests a plus-one so that they have the comfort of having a date.  However, if your guest list is jam-packed with single fever, then there may be no need for plus-ones at all, as there will be plenty of potential mingling among the single folks. Who knows what love stories may come of this?

Is There A Right Way To Terminate/Fire A Member Of The Wedding Party?


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BHLDN Prospere Gown ($2900) ($2000)

Drama is written all over this.  Fortunately, there may be a way to avoid mayhem when firing someone from your wedding party cast.  The last resort is termination and should only occur when you are fed up with the individual in question and are willing to say goodbye to the relationship for good.  Chances are, there is no going back when and if you choose to say sayonara to a groomsman, bridesmaid, or the like.  We prefer the pacifist approach,  vying for conflict resolution so that peace and love can return to the relationship and ultimately prevent termination.

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expressbuynow Short Kimono Robe for Bride ($19.99)

Do I Have To Invite All Of The Reception Guests To The Ceremony?


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BHLDN Floret Burnout Velvet Dress ($460)

The short answer is no. You can refine your ceremony guest list to include a more intimate crowd that doesn’t encompass everyone that is invited to the reception. It’s your call regarding how many people you want to have in your ceremony and how important it is for you to keep the affair private and cozy . If you have a tendency to feel guilty over leaving anyone out, remember that your wedding is all about what is best for you, the groom, your family and guests.   Your guests that are only invited to the reception will understand where you are coming from once you kindly inform them that you intend to keep the ceremony very tight-knit and therefore limited.

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What Is The Most Polite Way To Request Cash Gifts?


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BHLDN Bella Crystal Heels ($235) ($100)

Is asking for cash a wedding faux-pas? The short answer is no. The long answer is a bit more complicated. Sometimes if the bride and groom are unsure about where they will be post-wedding, it may be make more sense if this request is made.

A really great way to do this is by simply signing up for a cash registry like Newlywish, which will give guests a chance to contribute funds towards an investment of their choice (and we thing better than requesting “no box gifts”.  Think upcoming down payment, car purchase, or honeymoon travel.  With that being said, we recommend having a traditional gift registry in place as well for those guests who would rather gift you material items.  Non-traditional wedding registries are really making their way into the mainstream so there is no reason to forgo them and stick to traditional norms.

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Something Blue Products "I Do" Rhinestone Stickers for Bridal Shoes ($6.99) ($1.99)

What Is The Protocol Regarding Thank-You Notes?


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Twigs & Honey Twigs & Honey Floral Garden Headpiece ($395)

Traditionally speaking, we recommend sending out thank-you notes to your guests as soon as possible.  This way, your guests aren’t left wondering whether you received their gifts and will ensure your appreciation.  Anywhere from a week to no more than a month is the ideal time frame to go by.

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Hortense B. Hewitt Wedding Guest Book ($20.99) ($17.95)

How Do We Let Our Guests Know We Are Having An Adults-Only Wedding?


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Anthropologie Anthropologie Kimya Wedding Guest Dress ($649)

Kids are adorable, but that doesn’t mean they have to be a part of your guest list.  Don’t have shame brides. You can be kind about letting your guests know that you are having an adults-only wedding.  The best way to do this is sending out invitations with the specific names of each guest rather than leaving it up to the family to decide who can fulfill the “guest” positions.


What wedding etiquette questions did we forget to address?  Share them with us below and we will be sure to answer them next.

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